A Note from Faith: The research on parenting outcomes is really clear: children do best when the adults in their lives have high levels of warmth, PAIRED WITH high expectations. However, it’s really hard to maintain high warmth when we’re setting boundaries! Read some of the posts below to give you ideas on how to do that, and ways to think about it that make things easier for you. Happy reading!

A Playful Way to Teach Kids to Control their Anger

A friend recently sent me a link to THIS STORY by NPR about a researcher in the 1970s who noticed that the Inuit community where she was staying had very strong cultural expectations about people controlling their negative emotions (especially anger and disappointment). Although they never raised their voices to reprimand their children, all of…

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Why Explaining and Convincing Don’t Work with Young Kids

When we ask a child to do something, and they say no (or ignore us), the option of explaining why we’re asking them to do it, and inviting discussion, is so attractive.  It’s what most parenting books suggest, after all.  And research shows that explaining and discussing ARE useful tools for helping to get buy-in from…

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My Toddler Runs Away!

Der Miss Faith, My son will be 2 next month and occasionally runs away from me.  I have a 6 month old also, so I’m usually holding the baby and I am so afraid this will become a habit.  When I call after him he does not stop or he’ll stop, grin, then run away…

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My Toddler Hits!

Dear Miss Faith, I care for a little boy of 24 months.  His parents are having big relationship problems, and this sweet little boy has suddenly become very aggressive, hitting me and the other kids I care for many times each day.  I have tried telling him “Gentle hands!” and I help him touch gently,…

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Pouring In the Love

When your personal life is out of balance, it strains your body’s immune system.  If you don’t pay attention and make a change, you are likely to get sick.  When your relationship with your child gets out of balance, then the relationship’s immune system gets strained.  Our bodies let us know when we’re at risk for getting…

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What To Do When Your Kid Says NO!

When I ask the question, “Why do toddlers and preschooler say no to us?” in talks and workshops, the answers I get tend to run along these lines: • They’re differentiating themselves from us. • They’re testing boundaries. • They’re expressing their individuality. As sensible as these answers sound, I’d like to suggest an alternative…

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